This is an in-character presentation made by my DND character, Becky, about her best friend. The poor grammar, spelling mistakes, etc. are intentional and for the effect. For the full effect, imagine a poor girl standing SO STIFF, hyperventilating, halfway to tears, reading this out while everyone is just looking at her with deep concern.

The world of Shadow Oaks is owned by TheStalkerBunny on tumblr. It is a brilliant piece of work and I recommend reading more about it HERE.

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(Becky gets everyone in the main room and turns on the TV, which is attached to her laptop with a HDMI cable. She pulls out cue cards, clears her throat, and starts reading.)

“Hello everyone, thank you for coming. Now, you’re probably wondering why I asked you over today. And why Adam is here. I will explain this in a presentation I have to show you. I will take questions at the end.”

(she opens the presentation, waiting awkwardly while powerpoint loads on her computer)

(slide 1)

“Welcome to my presentation: Adam Frankenstein. Why he is my friend. And why he should be yours too.”

(slide 2)

“Who is Adam Frankenstein? You all know of Adam. He has been in our school for a long time. He is very tall and stands out. If you haven’t seen him already for some reason he is right there. Adam is strong and smart and tall, and he has a cute smile as well.”

(change card)

(slide 3)

“Adam and I first met in sophomore year. I was with him in math class with him. I didn’t think much of him at first because I didn’t think much of anyone who wasn’t in my friend group like you girls were. But in one class there was an incident. Some of you might remember this.”

(change card)

“Miss Hood mistook Adam’s charging bolts for headphones and took them from him. He almost died. This was very bad. A lot of people in that class were sent home early that day. I was also sent home early. I know you are all aware I do not deal with stressful situations well and that day”

(change card)

“was no different. I spoke with Isa about what had happened because I was scared. Isa suggested I called Adam to make sure he was okay. I did. Adam was alive. And very nice. We talked for a while and found out we liked some of the same things. The first thing we talked about was sports.”

(change card)

“He played baseball. And I was a cheerleader. We talked about sports for a while before he had to hang up. When he didn’t come to school the next day I called him again and we talked again. This time about furbies. Because we both liked furbies. Because we both liked a lot of the same things.”

(change card)

“And we kept talking. Even after Adam got better we still texted a lot. But I asked Adam to keep the friendship a secret. You are probably all asking. Why? And the answer is very simple.”

(change card)

(send slide 4)

“I was scared about people knowing we were friends, because not a lot of adults in town liked reborns or necromancy and I was scared that it would cause problems for me and my dad. So I asked Adam to keep us being friends a secret. He did.”

(change card)

(send slide 5)

“Adam and I have been friends ever since. We have done a lot of things together. Some notable things we have done together were becoming friends, collect vintage toys, get our licenses for driving, and many other things like when his dad gave me food poisoning. Adam also helped me”

(change card)

“with a lot of things like giving me dating advice so I could date Mattel. And most recently was last week, Adam and Jareth fought a zombie in my front yard. Adam has been very nice to me for a long time and now he wants the chance to be nice to all of you as well.”

(change card)

(slide 6)

“Why am I telling you this now? Because a lot has happened to me lately. I have almost died. And I have broken up with Mattel. And I have been in a bad mental health place. I have also decided that I do not want to be friends with racists. So if any of you are racist, you can please leave now.”

(pause, note that Becky looks nervous even if nobody gets up)

(change card)

“Also last weekend Adam said that he has been talking to Marilyn for class and that she has been very nice to him. And because she is nice to him, he thinks that she will be nice to me even if I am his friend. I agree with him and if he wants us to be public friends I owe him to do this one thing”

(change card)

“that he is asking me to do, because he has done so much for me. And I owe him a lot and this is something that matters a lot to him, so even if I am scared I have to do this for him. Also Jareth and Benny found out about Adam and I forgot to tell Benny not to tell anyone. I think that Jareth might”

(change card)

“have told him not to tell anyone, because I don’t think that Benny has told anyone yet, but I am not sure. And I would rather if you all heard about this from me because it is very important that you hear about it from me and not someone else in school who cannot explain it properly.”

(change card)

(slide 7)

“Now that you all know that I am Adam’s friend, I think it is now time to tell you why you should also be his friend. There are many good reasons to be Adam’s friend. I will now explain some of the reasons you should be friends with Adam.”

(change card)

“First are small reasons. He is very nice. And he is a marvel of modern medicine. He lives nearby. He is polite. He is never mean or bullies anyone. He is also very tall and can reach high shelves. Which he does not mind doing because he loves to help people. He is very kind and gentle and would not”

(change card)

“even hurt a bug. I know this because when bugs get in my room and nobody else is home I have called him and he has come and taken it out for me before. He is very nice. He is also smart. And he will use his smarts to help you fix things that have broken because he is also nice and likes to help.”

(change card)

“And you all know that he is very smart, because I know that you have all borrowed notes from him for school before. And he has never refused to share them, because he is nice. Now I am going to share with you even more reasons that you should like and support Adam Frankenstein.”

(change card)

(slide 8)

“He is very nice. He goes out of his way to make sure things are easy for people when he can. And he does things like move out of people’s way if he is in the way. He also helps people a lot.”

(change card)

(slide 9)

“Adam is also good at making and fixing things. Because he is good at fixing things he can fix things. And because he is tall he can fix things that are up high. Like lights or air conditioners.”

(change card)

(slide 10)

“Adam is good at skating. And he looks great doing it.”

(change card)

(slide 11)

“If you are friends with Adam you will have the added benefit of being friends with Fuzzy. Because they come in a bundle like a cool video game. Look at Fuzzy. He is very soft and very cute.”

(change card)

(slide 12)

“Adam is gay. This is very good for us because he will not be weird about us being girls and we can also talk about cute guys with him just like we talk about cute guys when it is just us girls. He will not be weird or hit on any of us. Also according to the internet it is fashionable to have a gay friend.”

(change card)

(slide 13)

(becky has nothing written for this one and just motions vaguely at the slide)

(slide 14)

“Adam is very handsome and has a nice smile. Here are some examples of what you would see every day if you did become his friend.”

(change card)

(slide 15)

“Adam makes a lot of things. Some of these things are toys. He makes toys because he wants to make people happy. Because he is nice. If you are nice to him you will get to see the things he makes and it is all very cool stuff. He also has a youtube and posts about robots which is very cool.”

(change card)

(slide 16)

“I didn’t realise until recent events happened but I will choose Adam over other people who are mean to him. I don’t want to choose because I like you all but if you make me choose I will choose him because he has always chosen me over other things and he is very important to me and I don’t”

(change card)

“know what I would do without him. I didn’t realise this until recently, but it is true. I will choose him over anyone and he is like a brother to me and I love him a lot.”

(change card)

(slide 17)

“So in conclusion, I care about all of you, and I don’t want to have to choose because I like all of you and I don’t want to choose between you. Please be friends. Thank you.”

(end powerpoint)

-End-

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